Bumper stickers

• Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
• Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

• We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
• We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
• Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
• He who laughs last thinks slowest!
• Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
• "More hay, Trigger?" "No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed!"
• Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
• Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
• Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
• What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free?
• "Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
• Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
• Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
• I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
• The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
• Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
• All generalizations are false.
• Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
• "Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.