| Answering
Machine Messages
- "Hi. Now
you say something."
|
- "Hello.
John's answering machine is broken. This is his
refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll
stick your message to myself with one of these
magnets."
|
- "Hi. I'm
probably home; I'm just avoiding someone I don't
like. Leave me a message and if I don't call you
back, it's you."
|
- "This is
not an answering machine. This is a telepathic
thought-recording device. After the tone, think
about your name, your reason for calling, and a
number where I can reach you. I'll think about
returning your call."
|
- "Hello,
you are talking to a machine. I am capable of
receiving messages. My owners do not need new
siding, a hot tub, tickets to the policeman's
charity ball, or their carpets cleaned. They
donate lots of money to their church, and they
don't need their portrait taken. If you're still
with me, leave your name and number, and they
will get back to you."
|
- "Hello,
this is Sally's microwave. Her answering message
machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm
stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want
anything cooked while you are leaving your
message, just hold it up to your phone."
|
- "You're
growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy.
You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually
losing your will power and your ability to resist
temptations. When you hear the tone you will feel
helplessly compelled to leave your name, number,
and a brief message."
|